October seems such a gloomy month, the nights are drawing in so rapidly that summer seems a distant memory and the weather doesn’t know whether it’s coming or going. There are various things that have made me feel like the weather too, like work (or lack of), and my efforts at losing weight. I’ve mentioned briefly before that I am a Slimming World member and whilst I have had so little work I’ve really focused on exercise and healthy eating because I’ve actually had the time for it.
Yesterday the weather here was really lovely, the skies were completely clear and the bright sunshine illuminated the many colours of nature in autumn so beautifully that I couldn’t have captured them on camera. I felt positive, even though there were things on my mind. At the moment I am in one of my resilient phases, as though I am surrounded by an invisible rubber sphere. Things that might bother me simply bounce off; the car failed it’s MOT but we just got on with it, rather than mourning the depletion of the savings account. The phone didn’t ring for work, so I braved hoovering under the children’s beds (not a job for the faint hearted, although I did discover various books and toys that I thought were long gone!) and put a couple of unwanted items on eBay. The feeling of strength from dealing with situations in this way snowballs, making that shield more powerful each time.
Life isn’t always like that, sometimes it’s really hard to stay strong, to just let things bounce off. There are times when other people know your weak point and play on it, the kind of people you don’t need in your life but for whatever reason you can’t shake off. My Slimming World journey has been like that, so many ups and downs it’s unreal. I have been on track for 8 weeks with no blips, not that long but better than I have done in a really long time. That little defence shield that makes it easier to say no to foods that I know want help me to lose weight, and I’m trying to hold on to the feeling of success which comes from seeing those numbers drop each week. I’m sure there will come a point where I need to draw upon my inner strength to keep my journey moving in the right direction.
When it’s hard to see the positives and things seem dark, a little tiny good thing is easy to miss and overlook. Today was really rainy and horrible (the total opposite of yesterday) but the sun came out this afternoon and when I went to feed the chickens I noticed some flowers standing strong despite the inclement weather. I was a bit busy (and to be honest, covered in chicken poo) to take a photo so I did what any sensible person does and went to take a photo in the dark using the flash on my camera.
It’s been nibbled a bit by something but I don’t mind sharing. When things seem tough and my resilience is low I will think of that flower, shining bright in the dark, and pick myself up.
What keeps you going when things seem tough?